The Times coverage split the issue right down the middle. it was critical in the text and positive in the Brendan Behan sense. Those cynical shades of Grey Lady are sometimes just a bit too much for me. For that reason, I drank deep when I pulled into a gas station this morning. If you want to get away from East Coast neuroses and so-called Green Energy coverage, you can turn to the Gas Station Radio Network for straight information about your world. I stood transfixed and let myself listen for long enough to fill a pair of large SUVs. Thank heavens for auto-shutoff at the pump. The thing that caught my ear was not the piece 'tar sands: boom or bonanza', which I thought was much thinner than the actual tar sand. It was the ad for candy. You can hear it for yourself here.
"If you're on the go, candy is a great way to power up for your next destination."
You can, apparently, just say stuff like that out loud if you're a trained voice actor. I hear that the gasoline we pump is really millions of years old. Perhaps billions of years if you roll with the abiogenic crowd. This advertising has a similar feel. It dates from a time before subtlety, before Mad Men, before even the actual 1950s.
After 'Candy', I was hooked. I cruised the gasradio.digicastnetworks.com site looking for another score. Would they? Could they? Yes! Cigarettes. That ad was pretty weak sauce. Strangest was 'Cash for Gold'. A sign of the true pre-cambrian nature of these ads can be found in the 20 second spot 'Movie Rentals'.
Perhaps Elon Musk will next re-invent advertising. I might buy an electric car just to hear it piped into a supercharger station. Major League Soccer, Nuclear Fusion, and Dippin' Dots should probably do their ad buys early.
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