nabobs

Bill Safire died almost three years ago. With his passing the world lost the last man who could write "nattering nabobs of negativism" and sound authentic. I have feelings, though. It still hurts even when hurled by humorless half-wits harboring herpes.

Note the genuine good cheer in today's review.

If you have small children then you recognize the look. Your child gazes just past your shoulder imagining the large salivating therapod that will finally cut you down to size. Watch for their eyes to dart. This is really the only way you'll know if you're about to be devoured in a single bite by an imaginary T. Rex or taken by a pack of Velociraptors of the mind. Make no sudden moves.

Kids used to rely on leaden phlalate-rich plastic dinosaurs for their earliest understanding of the Mesozoic. We may not know just what colors these dinosaurs were but we are now more sure than ever that none had the vibrant chromium and cadmium painted stripes of these simple toys.

Children of a certain age may have had access to 'Land of the Lost', a series of useful documentaries about the Mesozoic. These had a decidedly Cretaceous and anti-communist bent but they were otherwise outstanding. Their rich colors were limited only by NTSC fidelity. Those films have not yet been remastered for Blu-Ray but you may still be able to find a secondhand LaserDisc or one of the numerous SECAM bootlegs taped from Algerian TV in the late seventies.

Those toys and moving images of childhood past seem as archaic as their subjects. Children today deserve access to the latest scholarship and most up-to-date pedagogical technique. In 2012, that means tablet-based dinosaurs.

If you're like me then you've been burned by shady encyclopedia salesmen hawking their wares. See yesterday's 'Rue Britannica' for a recap of my experience. I'm writing today to highlight the better side of the dino-tablet scene. These new apps are family- and family values- friendly. They mostly take no position on troubling topics like evolution and instead remind us all that people, dinosaurs, and tablets may have coexisted peacefully since the time of Moses.

I think the best of the crop is Dinosaurs: An Early Introduction for iPad. This cute app has something for children from about one to five. This should be the model of a 99 cent kids app. No in-app purchases of additional dinosaurs or dinosaur food. No reading necessary. No confusion.

An entire app captured in a single frame
Image from iTunes

This app is more than simplicity. It's beautiful and fun.  Michael-Paul Terranova, the author, is the reigning Eric Carle of 99 cent dinosaur applications until Carle himself turns up. The selection of dinosaurs is as eclectic as the Very Hungry Caterpillar's diet but here the diversity causes no indigestion. 'Dinosaurs' is the best offering from Michael-Paul at Curious Circus but it's easy to imagine new variations on this engaging theme. 'touch-me' fun might be a better name than the advertised 'tickle-me' kind but it might not. More technically accurate in any case.

Aside from the obvious care in the illustration, this app looks like it could have been knocked together quickly with PhoneGap and I think that's a good thing. Interested and technically inclined parents could put together their own apps or their HTML5 equivalents in this style without much work.

Full marks for an app that does what it says on the tin.