vinyl. 5 speed. bmw. wagon!
~165k miles -- equal to sixteen round trips to bavaria and back. Most miles driven near Lake Erie. Car has some rust to match. Everything from the Roundel back needs work.
Runs. Starts. Moves. Makes noises. Some are happy BMW noises. Some are not. Car made an expensive sounding noise from the back several months ago and I stopped driving it routinely.
Colorful lights on the cluster are a great conversation starter at the dealer. Ask about them when you have the airbag recall work performed (free).
Cash money by six tonight. $500 if you swear that you will turn it into a German polizei wagon and send me a picture.
You got it. It's snarky. It's obnoxious.
I thought I was trying to craft an ad that would appeal to somebody looking for a project, not someone looking for reliable transportation. I didn't want to feel guilty about an unprepared soul inheriting an expensive dependent at a superficially attractive price.
I got just such an offer from a local lunatic looking to stuff a LS2 from a Pontiac GTO into the wagon. I got his call moments after I made another appointment with a guy just looking for a car.
Guy #1 wanted a wagon for $750. Guy #1 didn't speak English as his first language. All of my subtle snark was completely lost on him. I knew what I had done wrong as soon as he arrived.
Guy #1 failed my other critical car buyer eligibility test. He didn't have $750 cash money. He wanted to leave me a small cash deposit and pay me the rest at some indeterminate point in the future.
GTO guy had cash in hand.
I sold the car to Guy #1. Actually, I think I loaned Guy #1 $750 to buy the car from me and then let him drive it away with the title and my plates. He returned the tags yesterday. He promises some money in the future. How can I complain? My ad basically announced that I didn't care about the money and that I couldn't be bothered to even investigate the underlying problem.
I had basically made the argument that only amateurs should be allowed into the Olympics. That only those with the disposable income to support sport as a hobby should be allowed into the club. Guy #1 needed to play professionally. I got the sense that he had some skill himself and that he had a network of friends who could support this car as approximately reliable transportation. He was just a guy who needed a car.
The Takata airbag recall kept me from donating the car for months. I didn't want to donate a car with a known outstanding safety issue before the replacement parts were available. I got the recall notice recently but I couldn't find time to get the work done at the dealer. I wanted to get some kind of informed consent from the next owner that they were aware of the problem. That's why a sale. That's why the snark. That's what I told myself.
I thought I had paid for my sin by letting the car go to Guy #1 for a vague promise. I was wrong.
On Monday morning, I climbed into the BMW i3 I bought last year to replace the wagon. No go. The car had completely lost its mind. I had meetings to make. I had no time for this. My wife is out of town with our other ride. I was now just a guy who needed a car. I spent five hours waiting for BMW Roadside Assistance to come pull a broken electric car out of a tight parking space in an alley.
I got the car back Wednesday after some melted module had been replaced. I have a lot more to say about this unpleasant experience, but I'll skip it. Enough first world problems for one day.
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